A Whirlwind Adventure
by Kyuujin
Summary: Naruto battles Madara and Obito, preparing to end the war. However, unbeknownst to him, another battle is waiting around the corner. If surviving wasn't enough, he also has to deal with the increasingly wacky antics of his friends, secret admirers, and foul-mouthed sex offenders. Poor Uzumaki Naruto.


**Authors Note:**

**Hey guys, Kyuujin here. This is my newest story, a comedic action-based Naruto fanfiction. It'll be an adventure about, well, what the summary said. Please enjoy!**

**FWI, this takes up in the events of Naruto chapter 614. If you haven't read it yet, things will be spoiled for you. Very much so. So go read it, you can find it at Manga Reader, Manga Panda, just Google it. Pretty decent chapter.**

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Naruto clenched his jaw as he gently laid the Hyuga genius on the ground. Neji's eyes stared unblinkingly up at the sky. His eyes held no life, and the caged bird symbol that had once sat defiantly upon his forehead had vanished. Tears ran freely from the eyes of both Naruto and Hinata as they regarded his lifeless form. The son of the Yondaime clenched and unclenched his fists as he felt his rage build and spill over. Atop the Jyubi stood both Uchiha Madara and Uchiha Obito, the latter with a grim smirk on his face. He folded his arms and let out a dry, humorless chuckle.

"What's wrong, Naruto? Are my lessons in despair too much for you?" The blonde refused to speak. Obito took this as a chance to continue. "All of them, Uzumaki. All of them will die. And then you will understand. You will know true despair-"

Gold and red chakra flooded out of Naruto, making a flash so bright it was almost too much to look at. When it subsided he had drawn upon Kyubi's power, entering his Rikudo Sennin Mode. He stood on an equal plane with Obito, perched upon the head of Kyubi, looking like a ghost made of chakra. "I… will _never_forgive you." Obito glared at him. "I don't need the forgiveness of a fool." Madara touched Obito's shoulder, gaining his attention. He gave him a meaningful look and Obito returned it with an almost imperceptible nod. Naruto, however, did not allow this to go unnoticed. Obito's lips parted to speak. "Do it."

Madara shook his head. "Not yet. You'll need to gather your chakra. If you aren't at full capacity the ritual will destroy you. I'll control the Jyubi until you finish." He performed a single handseal, one Naruto had not yet seen, before smirking dangerously. "Let's see how the Kyubi can handle Speed Mode." At his words, the giant ten tailed beast spewed a strange goop from its mouth. The amorphous fluid began to rise and create a cocoon around the beast. Naruto quickly fired a Bijuudama at the beast, but it was stopped and absorbed by the fluid. It completed the cocoon around the two Uchiha and the large beast, hiding all three of them from view. Naruto growled and looked down at the Shinobi Alliance Military. "Everyone! Use this opportunity!" The entire force roared in agreement, a deafening sound, and a myriad of jutsu, explosives, and weapons flew at the cocoon. Naruto sent in more Bijuudama, and Killer Bee began to do the same. Their bombardment lasted for a while before a large crack appeared in the cocoon.

"Ha ha ha ha ha…"

The cocoon split wide open and smoke billowed out. Silence fell upon the army as they watched the cocoon in anticipation. Out of nowhere Naruto and the Kyubi were sent flying to the right. They flew and tumbled away for a couple _miles_. Kurama rose back to his feet, struggling a bit, but managing to stand. Naruto leaped to the top of his head, taking his place once again. "You see what that was?"

"No. Stay on guard, Naruto."

Just then the Jyubi appeared before them, looking quite different. It stood on all fours, crouched like an angry wolf. It had a line of spikes running from the back of its head to the base of its tails. It then split into ten lines of spikes, swinging ominously behind it. Its eyes were wide, almost perfectly circular, and lacked pupils, and were white with a sickly purple glow. Obito was sitting crossed legged on the head of the beast, eyes closed. Madara stood with his arms folded, smirking at Naruto. "You have no chance. The Jyubi is far beyond Kurama in every way possible. He is the God of Destruction, the Bringer of the End Times. You. Stand. No. Chance." Naruto merely smirked. "Fall down seven times, get up eight. I'm not gonna back down to you, old man." Madara sighed. "A foolish decision." He vanished, the Jyubi moving far beyond Naruto or even Kurama could track. A barrage of lightning-fast strikes battered the Nine Tails and his vessel up and down the country side. The Shinobi Alliance could only watch. Hatake Kakashi merely let out a sigh.

"This isn't even on a level we can comprehend. All we would do is get in Naruto's way." Maito Gai nodded weakly, still wounded from the seventh gate. Sakura and the rest of the Medical Corps had already began healing everyone who wasn't dead. Hinata was wordlessly watching the one she loved get thrown around by an invisible force. She fell to her knees as she found she couldn't tear her eyes away from the sight of the young, powerful man get effortlessly beaten down.

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Barely thirty seconds (a time that felt like an eternity of suffering to Naruto) later, Kurama had vanished. Naruto had lost his Kyubi form and laid face down in the dirt. He forced himself up and glared up at the hulking demon standing before him. "Surrender to your fate, Uzumaki." "Fuck you." Madara frowned and formed a seal, giving the Jyubi a mental signal. It reared back and began charging a bijuudama. Naruto couldn't move. He bared his teeth in an animalistic show of anger, but lacked the strength to even stand. The ball blasted toward him and everything went silent as he watched it rocket toward him. That was when a pitch black from blocked his line of sight.

"Amaterasu no Tate." (_Shield of the Sun Goddess._)

A web-like structure made of black flames stopped the ball of chakra and returned it to its sender, slamming into the chest of the Jyubi. It exploded vibrantly and sent it flying along with the two Uchiha perched atop it. The man who created the flames stood to his full height of six foot four. He was facing away from Naruto, and was wearing a long, black cloak that was torn at the bottom. His hair was black and long, traveling down to his waist. The top of it was styled into a ducktail. Naruto sat up. "Who are…"

"It's been a while. Well… for me, I suppose."

He turned around, facing the blond. He had bangs which framed his face. He had eyes as black as coal and was slightly pale. His face was more angular and matured, but it also seemed kinder than it had been in a long time. He closed his eyes and gave a very effeminate smile. "Hello Naruto-kun." Naruto's eyes went wide. That voice! "S-… Sasuke?" Before he could even think about it Sasuke had gotten down onto one knee and took Naruto's hands into his own, a dramatic and exquisitely melancholy look on his face. "My goodness! What have those loveless fiends done to my Naruto-kuuun?!" Now Naruto was really speechless. It took him a few seconds to finally react. "Er… Kun?" That was when the Jyubi came crashing back, destroying section of forest by walking. Madara glared down upon Sasuke. "Fool. Just what do you think you're doing?" Sasuke glared, quickly growing serious. He had no shirt and was wearing cloth pants and leather boots equipped with shin guards. He had slightlyarmored gloves on his hands. He had his sword given to him by Orochimaru on his left hip and a daito katana on his back that looked to have a complete length of five feet. "I am not your puppet." Madara seemed amused by this. "Indeed? Then you shall die along with the rest." The Jyubi rose a hand and swung it down in an attempt to crush Naruto and Sasuke. However, a purple light stopped it. Sasuke stood fast under the hand of the demon. He was surrounded by a cloaked figure made purely of purple chakra. It had stopped the hand of the Jyubi with its own. Sasuke's eyes had a red hexagramic star with Uchiha Itachi's three-pointed Mangekyou within the center.

"Susano'o."

Sasuke's Susano'o swung the beast around and threw it, sending it crashing away. He looked back at Naruto. "You need to rest, dear. Shall I make you dinner? Or would you prefer a nap?" He blushed a bit and slipped off one side of his shirt, his bare shoulder poking through the V-shaped neckline. "Or maybe… you'd like to…" Naruto blinked a few times before falling face first onto the floor, passed out.

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**A/N: And there's the first chapter. Sasuke suddenly reappears with a huge boost in power, height, and affection for Naruto. How did he get this way? Where did he go with Orochimaru? How will Hinata take this new competition for the love of her man?! Find out next time, sucka!**


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